Who am I?

chamois cream

Freshjive Moving Pictures - Bicycle Seat from freshjive on Vimeo.

Summer 2011

Cant wait for CX season to come around again. Cleaned my rig, threw some new wheels on her, and im ret to go.


Dear August,
     
              Please come soon.

Things i'd pay more than $100 to do.

Have sex with Britney


Kill one of my sales managers


Hang out with Charlie Sheen for a night


Blow myself


and this:


VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.

Well said.

Sunday Muddy Sunday

2010 CX season has officially come to a close and when I tell you that we went out with a bang...I assure you....we went out with a bang. As you know, life is a series of lessons learned and although I made it through most of the season only learning small lessons....this last Sunday was a day of real proper lessons. Let me share.


1. when racing in the mud, or dirt, or any surface for that  matter, dont...I repeat DONT remove your brakes before the race starts. Im an idiot. So when I hear a few people in the parking lot say stuff like,"there was so much mud on my bike and in my brakes that I virtually didnt need them."  the word "virtually" can some times be mistaken for "literally". Just want to take a side note here and say that I ate a little pain killer candy about 20 minutes ago and I feel delicious right now. totally forgot what I was talking about. oh well. Dont take the brakes off your bikes.


2. dont run into trees.  this might tie into #1, but im high right now so let me melt to myself.


3. judges are important people with power. When  you power slide into a puddle and get them dirty, they are most likely gonna be pissed. but im high so I dont care.


4. If you do break your hand. Ask for these, and thank me after you're done itching.

Here are some more photos from the day. Good times. Good drugs.

Dear Jesus and/or Santa

Crew Thik

Happy Birthday Tom

If you dont know. Now you know to know.


Penultimate dude.

Full Gas

Full Gas: Riding a Time Trial with Fabian Cancellara (Intro) from Halo Films Ltd on Vimeo.

Im Black Bitch.

"Guess who's back in the motherf*cking house..with a fat d*ck for your motherf*cking mouth"-Snoop Dog.

Things to point out about this photo:
1. posting photos of yourself on your own blog is gay.
2. yes, there was more than 2 people in my race.
3. yes, I AM gay.
4. yes, its seems as though the chap next to me is also gay.
5. this photo could have been taken in my backyard but I assure you it was not.
6.yes, I AM gay.
7. that white jersey I am wearing is the State Championship jersey.
8. yes, white jerseys are gay.
9. even losers win sometimes.

My back AND my neck...

That's actually a lie...its just my back. No neck involved. Either way I'm fairly screwed at this point and the only thing that is remotely redeeming is the fact that I'm all hopped up on drugs that were legally given to me. Yeah....there's a first time for everything right? I mean....when I'm not on all these pain meds its the worst pain Ive ever felt in my life. Mind you Ive broken almost every bone in my body, including 3 broken hearts and a punctured lung. None of them hurt as bad as this.
     Not really sure what happened really. One minute I was warming up for a race, and the next I could barely move. It was horrible. Not only could I not walk.....but I had just payed about $80 to race both Saturday and Sunday!! What the hell was I gonna do?? So like any red blooded American that hates to give up, and/or lose..I strolled over to the medical tent..ate some Ibuprofen...and completed my race in absolute pain. Came back the next day.....and did it again. My back was broken..but my will to beat anyone wearing a Lagrange jersey was not. Victory was mine. Fuck them.
    
      Went to the doctor Monday morning. Come to find out I'm an idiot and should have not raced on Saturday OR Sunday.  Its kinda tech, but I wore down the cartilage in between my facet joints on my spine. So instead of there being proper lube that lets the joints in my spine go back and forth without rubbing on each other, mine are going raw dog and I'm doing the ol' bone to bone spinal jam. No bueno.

      verdict: 10 days off the bike..tons of vicodin and norco's, booze, and unprotected sex and i should be back to %100 by Christmas.

Dear Jens

Dear Peggy

Thanks for the letter, but next time just dont park that close to me. Also, that dent in your brand new Mercedes bumper was not...i repeat....was NOT from my bike rack jamming into you 4-8 times while trying to pull out of the precarious position you put my car in.

Schnap!!!!

Sequence of events for Oct 16, 2010.

- drive to valley

-register for cyclocross race

- warm up

-mad dog my opponents in horrifically offensive green and navy kits

-start race

-move to front

-snap chain

-smash pelvic bone on stem

-flip over front of bike

-break handlebars

-scream

-throw bike

-bleed

-apologize to friends for wasting a drive out, and a nice day on my stupid race

-Starbucks
-drive home
-google how to make a noose

See you faggots next weekend.

New Tattoo

Why waste what is the perfect canvas complimented by the perfect
butthole/belly button? No reason really.

Funday afternoon.

Picked up this gem of a bike on Friday afternoon from my friendly neighborhood rip you off even though you hang out here, send all your friends here, and are friends with us bike shop. Its my new cyclecross bike, not even sure if that's how i spell it? Basically a road bike with BMX tires and smaller gears. Took it out on Saturday for the first time and had a yabba dabba doo time. I was 12 again. Bunny hopping, sliding through dirt, jumping, and running over shit you could NEVER run over or even near on a road bike. This thing is my new favorite thing in the garage. Sunday was a cyclecross race....so I figured what could possibly go wrong..I'll sign up for a few races and see what happens. The fun continued...grass course with tight turns, stairs to run up, barriers to jump over, and a lil tiny patch of mud to ride through. Good good fun. When it was all said and done, I was filthy, tired, sore, and happy. This could be a busy "off season" for me. I mean......the first race I won a beer....a BEER? These are my type of peeps. On top of that, the second race I won....they gave me a BIGGER beer.  The only down side of this weekend was the drunk drive home. (that's a joke mom).

this is my new ride courtesy of BD and  the good people at Giant.                                     photo:Caffrey

interbike

Welcome to Jerse.....I mean Vegas.

Best dude ever.

I heard Jens was at the Sram booth so I ran over and stood in a long line that seemed to never end. I finally got up to him, told him, "Hey, you're the best dude ever!", to which he replied, " that good right?"...Yeah dude....real good. I then asked the gentleman who was in front of me to take a photo of me with best dude ever....as you can see, he fuckin blew it and made my shit blurry.

So I went to the end of the line and started over...this time it worked.

"The Cannibal"...like most people that sit next to me....is miserable.

so sick

Cocaine-Reda

Cocaine with white metal flake.

Second best dude ever.

I saw a lot of wheels at the show.... these new Mavic are far and away the best shits in the building. I want, I want, I want. 

Gotta love them sprinters. Manx missiles bike is a big bag of whatever...but fuckers fast.

roll your pant up, grab a u-lock, strap a carabeaner to you belt loop, tattoo your calf....and lets ride 6 miles to Orange 20 and be dicks to everyone on the way.

ashy to classy

worst kit in the building goes to.........

Hey look at me im rich and stupid and love Ed Hardy award goes to.......

I smoked a lot of weed, ate 6 tabs of acid while huffing camera lens cleaner and came up with this invention award goes to..... 

(this is a gutter for sweat to be worn on your head)

Hate Trek, Love Black

Free lunch if you can ignore the fact that 1 out of every 6 people wash their hands after using the restroom. (thats true bitch)

if i was rich...this is what my closet would look like.

Awesome 3 days of drinking, breathing cigarette smoke, and cursing like a sailor...next stop:

The Everest Challenge- 205 miles w/ 29,500 ft of climbing. What could possibly go wrong?

Name one of your friends that hasn't crashed.

Happy Tuesday.