New Years Resolution

One day this year, I will get my motorcycle back. Not sure when.....perhaps around July or so.....but just before 2010. Pray for me.

New Years n' Quaaludes

So i knew this guy one time, that knew this other guy, that knew some dude that said he could get us some Quaaludes.   So we got some, took a couple, and then decided to walk to the bar where our friends were throwing a party. Stopped at a 7-11 on the way, drank a tall can.......i think we went to the bar.......and then i woke up the next day around 11:30am.   Guess they worked?  Happy New Year.

Thug Life

No mas, Ex mas

Ahhh, the tree. Notice the best present in the world sitting next to the worst. Who gives calenders as gifts. Hey, thanks for reminding me how much crap I have to do in January. Argh.

In the Bible it says, "Spare the rod, Spoil the child."  Well....up yours Jesus, rod spared, and child spoiled.

These are the contents of my xmas stocking.  CVS isle 9.

Then came  this next gift which was from my ma to my sister. It was a blanket with my nephews and their dog on it. I'm not sure how to really take it to be quite honest. Its a bit freaky. I find it amazing that someone actually has the ability to sew photographs into a blanket, and blown away that there's a market for such a thing.  How is it that Circuit City is going out of business, but the face blanket guy is still up and running? Dont answer that. If I had kids, would I want a blanket of them? No, probably not......Knowing my ma, i'd get one anyways. Either way, next year I want one with my bike on it.

Public Swimming Pools

Not to say the wrong thing, but if you ever find yourself at the Days Inn located in Phoenix Arizona, Dont.....I repeat DONT use the pool.

Merry Shitmas

   Every year?  Really? I mean, is this all really necessary? I guess if i was 12 then the answer would be yes, but since i am a good 20 years past that, the answer is undoubtedly NO. The vacation side of it is amazing. Nobody loves not working more than me, except of course people on welfare that actually get paid for not working, that would be the jam. So lets keep the tradition of taking time off at the end of every year, but lets skip the tree and lights crap. Kill the presents too. I don't need another red sweater, or Starbucks gift cards, or the inevitable pair of tube socks in my stocking.  A sock, with socks in it? Yes, i still get a stocking.  For a few years i was like, "Ma, i don't need a stocking on Xmas."  Then she didn't make me one, and Xmas morning comes, and I'm friggin left out cuz everyone else has a stocking. Sticking out sucks, sticking out without a stocking full of socks, deodorant, toothpaste, and carmex is a whole other ball of wax.  Ok, so lets kill the tree and lights crap, but still leave the stocking part, that's kinda fun. Not only that, but who likes going to CVS for such trivial items, when you can save the trip by showing up to xmas morning.  I should maybe try and think of the positives of Xmas.....hold on, let me think.

free food.

free wine.

playing video games with the kids and not getting judged for being 34 and still playing video games.

family time.

20 minute pre-meal prayers.

Starbucks gift cards.

sweaters...

wait...this is headed to negative town.....turn it around.

free food?

argh....come on Dec 26th!!!!

Snapple Real Fact #38

FISH COUGH!!!

click here for details