Im Black Bitch.

"Guess who's back in the motherf*cking house..with a fat d*ck for your motherf*cking mouth"-Snoop Dog.

Things to point out about this photo:
1. posting photos of yourself on your own blog is gay.
2. yes, there was more than 2 people in my race.
3. yes, I AM gay.
4. yes, its seems as though the chap next to me is also gay.
5. this photo could have been taken in my backyard but I assure you it was not.
6.yes, I AM gay.
7. that white jersey I am wearing is the State Championship jersey.
8. yes, white jerseys are gay.
9. even losers win sometimes.

My back AND my neck...

That's actually a lie...its just my back. No neck involved. Either way I'm fairly screwed at this point and the only thing that is remotely redeeming is the fact that I'm all hopped up on drugs that were legally given to me. Yeah....there's a first time for everything right? I mean....when I'm not on all these pain meds its the worst pain Ive ever felt in my life. Mind you Ive broken almost every bone in my body, including 3 broken hearts and a punctured lung. None of them hurt as bad as this.
     Not really sure what happened really. One minute I was warming up for a race, and the next I could barely move. It was horrible. Not only could I not walk.....but I had just payed about $80 to race both Saturday and Sunday!! What the hell was I gonna do?? So like any red blooded American that hates to give up, and/or lose..I strolled over to the medical tent..ate some Ibuprofen...and completed my race in absolute pain. Came back the next day.....and did it again. My back was broken..but my will to beat anyone wearing a Lagrange jersey was not. Victory was mine. Fuck them.
    
      Went to the doctor Monday morning. Come to find out I'm an idiot and should have not raced on Saturday OR Sunday.  Its kinda tech, but I wore down the cartilage in between my facet joints on my spine. So instead of there being proper lube that lets the joints in my spine go back and forth without rubbing on each other, mine are going raw dog and I'm doing the ol' bone to bone spinal jam. No bueno.

      verdict: 10 days off the bike..tons of vicodin and norco's, booze, and unprotected sex and i should be back to %100 by Christmas.

Dear Jens

Dear Peggy

Thanks for the letter, but next time just dont park that close to me. Also, that dent in your brand new Mercedes bumper was not...i repeat....was NOT from my bike rack jamming into you 4-8 times while trying to pull out of the precarious position you put my car in.

Schnap!!!!

Sequence of events for Oct 16, 2010.

- drive to valley

-register for cyclocross race

- warm up

-mad dog my opponents in horrifically offensive green and navy kits

-start race

-move to front

-snap chain

-smash pelvic bone on stem

-flip over front of bike

-break handlebars

-scream

-throw bike

-bleed

-apologize to friends for wasting a drive out, and a nice day on my stupid race

-Starbucks
-drive home
-google how to make a noose

See you faggots next weekend.

New Tattoo

Why waste what is the perfect canvas complimented by the perfect
butthole/belly button? No reason really.

Funday afternoon.

Picked up this gem of a bike on Friday afternoon from my friendly neighborhood rip you off even though you hang out here, send all your friends here, and are friends with us bike shop. Its my new cyclecross bike, not even sure if that's how i spell it? Basically a road bike with BMX tires and smaller gears. Took it out on Saturday for the first time and had a yabba dabba doo time. I was 12 again. Bunny hopping, sliding through dirt, jumping, and running over shit you could NEVER run over or even near on a road bike. This thing is my new favorite thing in the garage. Sunday was a cyclecross race....so I figured what could possibly go wrong..I'll sign up for a few races and see what happens. The fun continued...grass course with tight turns, stairs to run up, barriers to jump over, and a lil tiny patch of mud to ride through. Good good fun. When it was all said and done, I was filthy, tired, sore, and happy. This could be a busy "off season" for me. I mean......the first race I won a beer....a BEER? These are my type of peeps. On top of that, the second race I won....they gave me a BIGGER beer.  The only down side of this weekend was the drunk drive home. (that's a joke mom).

this is my new ride courtesy of BD and  the good people at Giant.                                     photo:Caffrey