Monday, August 31, 2009

This makes me feel better.

Got Keyed?

Let me preface this with the simple fact that so far in 2009, life truly sucks, and that this is one of those posts that I should have put up on this site, but since Sweetbutter is my shit...might as well post it here.

Its not bad enough that this car was just given back to me after someone stole my roof racks while prying a screw driver into the top of the car leaving it dented. JUST got it last Monday just got it back.

Then I go out to Malibu this weekend to participate in a FUCKING FUND RAISER FOR A KID WITH CANCER AND I COME BACK TO MY CAR AND SOMEONE KEYS IT????

Here's the deal man: am i a Have I done some wrong shit in my day that maybe affected someone else's feelings...yes. Have I stolen shit....yes. Have I devirginized a mans one and only daughter...yes.....have I ever in my life fucked with another mans car....NO, NEVER. Its just wrong man, and knowing where to draw the line when fucking shit up is something I take pride in knowing. When to say when, in other words..
My beautiful little grey prius just out on pch trying to save the world along with an insignificant amount of gas at the same time. Never did nothing to no lies on a street with scratches all over it.

I cant drive it. What will people think? Most likely the same thing I think when passing someone with a keyed up car. " That dude must be a real asshole to have had someone key his car like that. Probably and x-girlfriend." Actually, that's exactly what the insurance lady asked me. " Sir, do you maybe have an x-girlfriend that's upset." to which I responded, "yes ma'am, hundreds." thanks for narrowing down the chase.

I hate 2009.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


So I woke up yesterday and realized that for the 4th year in a row, i was about to let my motorcycle licence permit expire. This may seem like nothing to worry about, but if you're me, and let me tell you right now that you should thank your lucky stars you are not, you would be worried. Not sure what the situation is in other states, but in good ol' Californication you have to take a written test...pass it, then make a separate appointment to come back and take the actual driving test. But once you pass the written, you can basically ride a motorcycle legally with a few minor exceptions: a) you cant ride at night. b) you cant ride with chicks on the back..(or anyone else, but we all know that your a homo if you ride with 2 dudes on a bike so that goes without saying) and c) you cant ride on the freeway. You get 3 tries for the written. If you have to come back another day. That's the problem. First time I took the written and passed the first time. Then let a year go by without taking the driving it expired. Second time I took the written test, failed the first.....failed the second.....and passed the third by the skin of my teeth. Of course I again let a year go by and didn't get my driving test done....So returned and failed the first two test once again....and passed the third. That was a year ago, and instead of taking the written test again for a fourth time....I decided to buckle down and get to the DMV.

I had to make an appt quick...and the only....and i mean the ONLY DMV that had an opening was in Compton. Yes, that Compton. Eazy-E's Compton. Not only that, but Sweetbutter is way too illegal to take a test I rented a scooter.

Got to the DMV, checked in and got to watch other riders taking the moto test. They ALL failed. I was fucked.....not only did they all fail, but one lady actually fell over and laid down her bike. I laughed of course, then helped her up with it, then laughed some more. Nothing like someone else's misery to make me feel better. what a dick.

White dude on a Vespa in Compton.....what could possibly go wrong?

The ride

The E-ticket..or F-ticket I guess. My APPOINTMENT!!!! was at 10:30...arrived at 10:15...waited in the sun for 3 hours....took the test at 1:15...harsh.

Not sure why that doesn't read "great"?
ps. fuck the dmv

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Email from my Mom

Subject: Do you know?

Hi Son,

   Do you know Paul Rodriguez?  I guess he is a two-time gold-medal winner in X Games Skateboard Street. 




art show+tequila+lance+paris+birthday=Drinkquence

The End.
(photos by Kyle)

Monday, August 10, 2009


What do you drink?

I Love LA.

So this morning I had a doctors appointment. You see, suffering from anxiety and sleep deprivation is something that I have struggled with through out my life. Today is the day that I can finally say goodbye to all that, and street dealers and shitty pot hook ups. Thank goodness for the medical staff over at the Cannabis Assist Center. I'm already feeling better!! My next task is to venture out and locate one of the 9256 medical marijuana dealers in my area. Preferably a drive thru joint, next to a Starbucks and a Subway. It has to exist.

I might have.....