Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bike Porn


If I truly knew how to use this fancy Google machine then I would make a little bubble coming out of the top of this bike that said, "Buy me." But I'm a ra-tard...so just imagine it k? This is the new Cervelo R5ca and it will retail for approximately $9800 and will ship with frame, fork, headset, zero-setback seat post, a Rotor crankset, and a hot blond to blow you, your mind, and melt your sweet little face. Frame weight with hardware will come in around 700-715 grams....which is about 1 1/2lbs. Re Dick You Lusssss. Obvs this dude blew it with the white bar tape and the stupid Zipp logo's on the wheels, but besides that...this thing is murder. Can someone photoshop this shit and make it how i want please. Send it to elcrapola@mac.com.....

Now does anyone have a lawn I can mow for $10,000 ?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tastes Like Chicken?

I was once told never to believe anything you hear, anything you read, and only half of what you see. My Dad told me that, so just like everything else he ever told me, I ignored it completely. I'm a believer. Cant really put my finger on the exact reason why, but for shits and giggles lets just say I have faith in people. So when this nice young man peddled up next to me on our weekly group ride and professed that sardines were super good for you, I of course believed him. He told me why but I forgot...but somewhere in his 15 minute explanation the words "ultimate athlete food" were spoken....that, I know. Maybe not in that exact order..who cares. Sounds good to me....but wait...arnt sardines bait? Or is that anchovies? Salmon eggs?Crab legs...Don't you normally catch edible things with inedible things? You never can count anything out though. People drink goats blood in some places cuz they think it makes you smarter, or more fertile, or something. Watch Discovery Channel...its on there. Each guy has a better solution than the next. One guys says eat peanut butter, the next says cranberry juice. The ones I tend to listen to are the ones that are the quickest. No need to listen to a guy you dropped right? A Cat 1 guy told me about Spizz...so i bought 12 canisters and thought it was the best shit in the world.......until of course I ran out and didn't feel one bit of difference. I heard about NEW XS...which was awesome for about 20 minutes, then I wanted to puke. Lance uses this shit, so it must be proper healthy right?? No...dude crashed for no reason 3 into the Tour of California and couldn't even finish the race, so I'm off of that and going with the sardines.


So these are the ones i picked. I put them in between some bread slices, added some veganaise, along with some fake cheese, and voila....I had a sardine sandwich.

That sandwich made my house stink, and my breath reek. But I feel good and I think it worked?


Make sure you check back next week for another episode of "things you couldn't care less about"



Monday, May 24, 2010

Stage 5 clinger

souvenier
peloton
here they come
the long hard road
my life
my lunch
Jason and I after 7000 ft of climbing.

Jason just crossed the line.