Monday, August 31, 2009

Got Keyed?

Let me preface this with the simple fact that so far in 2009, life truly sucks, and that this is one of those posts that I should have put up on this site, but since Sweetbutter is my shit...might as well post it here.

Its not bad enough that this car was just given back to me after someone stole my roof racks while prying a screw driver into the top of the car leaving it dented. JUST got it back...like last Monday just got it back.

Then I go out to Malibu this weekend to participate in a FUCKING FUND RAISER FOR A KID WITH CANCER AND I COME BACK TO MY CAR AND SOMEONE KEYS IT????

Here's the deal man: am i a saint..no. Have I done some wrong shit in my day that maybe affected someone else's feelings...yes. Have I stolen shit....yes. Have I devirginized a mans one and only daughter...yes.....have I ever in my life fucked with another mans car....NO, NEVER. Its just wrong man, and knowing where to draw the line when fucking shit up is something I take pride in knowing. When to say when, in other words..
My beautiful little grey prius just out on pch trying to save the world along with an insignificant amount of gas at the same time. Never did nothing to no one....now lies on a street with scratches all over it.

I cant drive it. What will people think? Most likely the same thing I think when passing someone with a keyed up car. " That dude must be a real asshole to have had someone key his car like that. Probably and x-girlfriend." Actually, that's exactly what the insurance lady asked me. " Sir, do you maybe have an x-girlfriend that's upset." to which I responded, "yes ma'am, hundreds." thanks for narrowing down the chase.

I hate 2009.

2 comments:

Hobbs said...

All hail 2010, the year when the gates of new Virgins are opened and Key resistant car surfaces are unveiled. Fuck the derelict idiots that have nothing better to do with their time then to screw up the day of an undeserving person. I have been the target of many unexpected events such as this. Beware of the person that finally gets caught in the act because they will suffer the wrath that all before him have added to, lets just hope my gun is not within my reach that day cause there will lie one dead ass mo fo and all his mom will say is "He only tagged 'Fucker' on that guys Jeep, he didn't deserve to get shot". My ass he didn't deserve it, people have died for lesser things.

There, done with my rant as well.

Stone said...

Dude, seriously... it's a Prius.
It's not like he scratched your Ferrari.

(I have little compassion, as the words "resale value" have never meant shit to me)