Mexibro trailer

Dear Jake

I'm not sure that I have given enough praise to you for turning my bike from unrideable gayness, to ride-able non gayness. Having bought my bike about 4 1/2 years ago on a total fluke, and it sitting on my street collecting dust, rust, and cob webs for 2 years...you miraculously came to my house after talking at a sales meeting about my hated Harley....put it in your van....and drove into the sunset. You some how transformed a bike I seriously couldn't have given 2 shits about into one of my most prized possessions. I owe you a great deal of thanks, gratitude, and blow jobs (no homo) for what you have brought to my life.

Coming back from my Mexico trip I was just crossing the border to get back into the states, and I had a moment of...I don't know...gayness?...So siked to have taken this trip, on this bike, with this fucking seat, all the way to Cabo and back...and its all because you took the time to simply ask me, "You gotta bike, how come you never ride it?". So Jake, thank you very much for all the help with the bike. If you ever need an overhaul on your 10 speed bike, call me.

Before Jake

After Jake

Baja Mexibro

the starting line

the agenda

the coldest day ever on a bike.....wind chill sucks.

dirt road for 10 miles..to hostel

hostel

there is no road for 10 miles, or house or anything..not sure how this dude got here.

a church in the middle of nowhere that was soon turned into a fireworks show. Sorry God.

Pastor Arto

Kai, the bike ninja..he wore this for 13 days. No joke.

Epicly Patrick

Heath

On a steel horse I ride.

Mexican gas station.

San Ignacio

Muleje. This place got wrecked by a hurricane.

Post card #1

water is warm, the booze is cold, and im 120 miles from my first shower in 5 days

La Paz. No Starbucks, but a Burger King with fries!!!

This is El Diablo...i thought coming from LA was gnar, this dude rode from Vancouver with Kai

El Pescadero skate park. Not so skateable

This is the literal end of Baja. The rocks in the background are it. Siked to make it.

You wanna wipe...you gotta pay for it.

My windshield

gas station stop #375

Editor, and Producer/Stresser

Post card #2

Post card #3

Kai, Arto, and Keegan.

Arto getting tubed

Heaths ride.

This bike was the leader of the pack...where it went, we followed.

Im no Ansel Adams, so forgive the bad photos. All in all, best motorcycle trip ever. Lots of fun, lots of miles, and most importantly my Sweet Butter made the whole trip without any problems. I highly recommend this trip to anyone who rides. Once you get past Tijuana, the sketch is over and the fun begins. No problems whatsoever with any borders or any locals. If anything, they were siked to see us. Most of them wanted to take pictures of themselves on the bikes which was pretty epic.

Things to bring to Mexico if you go:

1. Starbucks via...you've seen the advertisement....believe the hype..shit works, and Mexican coffee is made with THEIR water which is no bueno.

2. Mosquito repellent. Fuckers are gnar.

3. Warm clothes...just cuz its Mexico, don't mean its warm. Like most women, the farther south you go, the warmer it gets...so head to the bottom pronto.

4. Stickers....they love stickers.

5. Someone who speaks Spanish...this is pretty key.

6. Purell

Jake Rules

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Finally

I thought the day would never come. My sweet sweet bike is back home where she belongs. Got up at 6am (did you know its still dark out at 6?) and took the train down to San Diego to pick up Sweet Butter. The anticipation was killing me. Last night I couldn't sleep a wink. Got on the train thought i could sleep until i got to SD...no luck. Jonesing ain't the word. It was as if I was a virgin and Marissa Miller was in San Diego waiting to rip my clothes off and break me in proper.  When i finally arrived at the station, i took a cab to the house where my bike was at. Got there, walked up the driveway which seemed to be 3 miles long, and at the end was a trailer....sealed. Now, since i had been awake, I'd been really really needing to use the restroom. I had to poo SO bad that it was painful, but some how when i arrived....the need to release my feces had all but completely disappeared. Amazing right? The mind, combined with the sphincter are powerful things.  Not being able to wait any longer ......I cracked the seal...... to the trailer that is.......and BOOOOOOYYYYAAAHHHH!!!! There she was. She was beautiful......all black, she had her black Levi's on, and she was oh so clean. I was drooling, and i wanted to mount her immediately. I needed to feel her vibrate in between my little shaved thighs.......Pulled the choke, hit the start button, and she started to scream.....i think she was saying something to the effect of, " rape me".  So being the gentleman that i am, i obliged.......

So on the road i went. I had 2 hour trek back home, and the roads were free and clear of traffic unbelievably enough. Craving a Starbucks, i exited the freeway, got off the bike, and then i noticed that there was oil EVERYWHERE!!!!  So i cursed for about 30 seconds, then of course.....I did what any man would do in this situation.....Called Jake.

But everything is always OK when i come home to my sons face, and it looks like this.

Pimp My Ride II

I think Jake is gonna hate me by the time this thing is done. Calling him every hour to hear the bike start, or to request recent pictures must get old to him fairly quick. Either way, im so siked to get this thing back that i've had a bulge in my pants for over a week now. The only part that sucks is that due to hereditary issues, and family genes, its a pretty small bulge. Thats not to say that im not excited, its more of a disclaimer than anything.

I heart Jake (no homo)

So close, yet so far

Pimp my ride

  

I own a gay Harley. No such thing you say????How is it gay? it has flames, which in my humble opinion, on ANYTHING, is gay. Nothing against the gays....i voted no on prop 8..so chill. I just mean that more gay people enjoy flames as decoration that non-gay people, thats all.

For years ive had this Harley with flames, and ive tried to convert it to non-gay, but its not working. Its getting less gay, but thats still a hair too gay for me. Thank God no one reads this..jesus.  Anyway it has been shipped to AZ to my friend Jake and hopefully it will be home soon and i can still be gay, but my bike wont.  Thanks Jake. Jake has a girlfreind and fixes and chops Harleys, he is not gay.